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Good News urobody; i hope You have seen the new uropean Directive

The European Commission has just announced an agrement where English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations. Her majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepteda five year plan that would be known as 'uronglish". And in the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the letter 'k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasmin the sekond year, when the tiresome "ph' will be replaced with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Goverments will enkoragethe removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurat speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgrasful, and should be don away with. By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to step such as replasing 'th' with "z" and "w" with "v". During the fiftz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to otzer kombi–nations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil, hav a relisensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evriven vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM ViL FiNALi KUM TRU.

"c"–>"s" hard "c"–>"k" "ph'–>'f' Double letters–>single leters
silent "e"'s–>0 *th'–>"z" "w"–>"v" "ou"–>"u"

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